Don't Call Me Special: A First Look At Disability

Don't Call me Special: A First Look at Disability by Pat Thomas explains what both physical and mental disabilities are and how disabilities may require people to use adaptive equipment or find different ways to do things in a way that is easy for young children to understand. It also cautions against making assumptions about what people with disabilities can or cannot do and teaches that children with disabilities can often find ways to participate in sports and most other activities. The book points out that everyone has some things they do well and other areas they struggle in and that people with disabilities are the same way. Someone in a wheelchair may still excel at shooting hoops or in art or any number of areas. Kids are instructed not to label people with disabilities as 'special' because they feel it sets them apart and they would rather be treated like anyone else. Basically, it teaches kids that people with disabilities are people first and foremost.

Even though the book was very clear in teaching that people with disabilities are able to participate in sports and other activities, my children still had a hard time grasping this. After reading it I asked my oldest if he thought whether someone in a wheelchair would be able to play basketball or soccer. To my surprise, he still answered no. To help him visualize it, I showed him the following videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZNuwOy8z-E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmolw95_v6w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vxjh6KJi8E

Yes, I made my children watch a beer commercial. It actually sparked a great conversation. I pointed out that since all of the players but one could walk, that they had made a very important choice. They could have chosen to leave their friend in the wheelchair out because he was different and they didn't want to change the way they play, but instead they thought of a solution where everyone could play together. My boys decided that if they were the person in the wheelchair, they would be really want to be included. Overall, I'd say that this book is a good start to the conversation, but I think that the videos really helped to reinforce the concepts. I'd recommend using both together.

And Tango Makes Three

Since Valentines Days was this weekend, I felt it appropriate to read a love story of sorts. And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell is an adorable tale about two male penguins, Roy and Silo, who fall in love and build their nest together. They are just like all the other penguin couples except for the fact that they cannot lay eggs and have children. At first, they try unsuccessfully to hatch a rock in their nest, but then the zookeeper gives them a real egg. The egg hatches and Roy and Silo become caring fathers for their baby, Tango. Best of all, this is actually a true about a family of penguins in the Central Park Zoo. I understand that Roy, Silo, and Tango are all still alive and well (although unfortunately Roy and Silo have since split up).

My children both enjoyed hearing this story. It is well-written with an interesting plot and not overtly preachy. I used the book to springboard into a brief discussion about human families as well. My three year old was able to understand that while he has one mommy and one daddy that Tango has two daddies instead. We also talked about how some human families also have two daddies or two mommies. With my six-year-old we were able to take things a step farther. We talked about whether Roy, Silo, and Tango are still a family even though Tango's egg was laid by another penguin and what makes a 'real' family. I highly recommend this story as a means to introduce young children to the concept of nontraditional families.

Elena's Serenade

The other day I took my kids into the dentist. As my kindergartener was discussing the visit afterward, I realized that he'd confused the hygienist with the dentist so I reminded him that the hygienist (a woman) was the one who had cleaned his teeth and the dentist (a man) was the one who had showed us his x-rays. After thinking for a minute he queries, "So boys are dentists and girls are hygienists?" This surprised me, given that we've already had several discussions about this sort of thing, but it seems we can always use a reminder. Elena's Serenade by Campbell Geeslin is a fantastical tale about a young Mexican girl who dreams of becoming a glass blower like her papa, but is told that girls cannot make glass. When Elena sets off on a journey to meet the master glass blowers in Monterrey, she discovers she is able to make glass like no one else, using music to bring the glass to life. The story is rich with Mexican culture and tradition and the vibrant illustrations by Mexican folk artist, Ana Juan, give this story life.

My sons were enthralled by this magical tale and afterward we discussed that while this is obviously not a true story, it still talks about true things. I asked them if they thought Elena would have ever discovered her magic abilities if she had listened to the people who told her that girls cannot be glass blowers. We talked about whether it's true that girls cannot accomplish the same things as boys and how it affects girls when the people don't believe in them. Then we touched upon the other parts of the story that are true. My boys learned that Mexico is a real country and that Monterrey is a place that really was famous at one time for their glass blowers who made bottles. To top it off we watched this video clip illustrating how modern glass blowers blow and shape glass. This book both challenges sexism and celebrates Mexican culture, yet it is entertaining first and foremost. The plot is fun and imaginative on it's own with the added bonus of imparting a valuable lesson.

Your Body Belongs to You

I grew up in a household where I was frequently told that everything I had, including my very self, was actually the property of my parents. I am vehemently opposed to this line of thinking. It's extremely degrading to children to be constantly referred to as property, and actually predisposes them to abuse. Children need to know that they have rights, that their boundaries can and should be respected, and that they are the owners of their bodies. Given that, this week's book appealed to me simply by reading the title, Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman. The book starts out with a note to parents explaining that when we force any unwanted touch, even affectionate touching like hugs, kisses, tickling, etc, it sends the message to children that they do not have the right to set boundaries or have their bodies respected. The story itself is written extremely simply. It's well suited to a preschool audience, but I wouldn't recommend it for kids over the age of five. It teaches that many touches are good and that others are not. Kids are told that their private parts are where their bathing suits cover and that no one should touch their private parts except for doctors or people helping them in the bathroom. They are also told that it's okay to refuse even good touches by saying, "No, not right now please," and to tell a grown-up if someone touches them in a way they don't like. I do wish that the book took the concept a step further and talked to kids about the importance of respecting other people's boundaries too (a much needed lesson for this age group), but perhaps that would be too much information for really young kids.

I read this book to my 3 year old and afterward asked him what parts of his body are his private parts. I asked him whether anyone else is allowed to touch his private parts and emphasized no, not even mommy or daddy, not grandma or grandpa, or his teachers at school. I asked him what he will do if anyone tries to touch his private parts and he was able to remember that he needs to tell mommy and daddy. Then we played a short game where I would ask him for hugs and he got to decide whether to accept or to say, "No, not right now please." I have never forced affection onto my children to start with, but delighted in being able to tell me no and see his boundaries clearly respected. I did not read it to my 6 year old as I feel it's too simple for his level. He would likely find it babyish and I think that older kids benefit from more specific information anyway. However, I do feel my preschooler benefited from this story and would recommend it for this age group.